Religious America.  Do you love it? I don’t.  Something just seems so wrong.  The freedom of practicing your religion is dead.  Sure, you’re free to go to the Church every Sunday morning and Wednesday night, but religion isn’t what it was intended to be in America.  For the record, I will give you a little background about myself.  No, I am not an angst-filled teenager who hates his parents and displays his blood-filled Slipknot shirt with pride.  Hell, I shop at Eddie Bauer and Wal-Mart for most of my clothes.  I don’t denounce religion because that’s the trend with kids.  Any teen atheist stereotypes are not in my description at all.  

In reality, I am not an atheist; I’m actually in a crisis of faith.  It’s sad really.  Should kids be exposed to religious and non-religious propaganda from such a young age and be left to ponder and violently question if there’s a god? I think not.  We live in a God fearing culture in America and that is what is scary.  From a young age, most children are taken to churches or places of worship and are taught the basic principles of their religion, in a form a child could understand of course.  Up past the clouds is heaven and God lives there.  Bad people go to hell, so behave.  Wait, how do I know if I’m bad? Will I go to hell? These thoughts cross a child’s mind.  From a young age, you become acquainted with the “Heaven/Hell” concept, and it’s nothing simple as many lead you to believe.  All you know is this Heaven/Hell concept and the concept of Christianity, so what else can you compare it to? And if there are adults speaking to masses about it, it seems credible enough, right?

For the ones unfortunate enough to live in a highly religious society, you have these questions shoved in your face every day of your life.  What is any educated person to believe? As you’re brought up, you hear about the great wars over religion, you hear of great thinkers and philosophers, scholars, and things that just naturally make sense.  When thrown a story about a God who wants to flood his world and He demands a man to build a boat and save a male and female animal from each specie, how do we believe it so easily? Does it not sound farfetched? These stories are inspiration of worship to many, but how is it normal to accept it and never question it? I don’t know the answers, and no one does.

The thing that gets me is I find it hard to believe a bulk of people who believe in Christianity truly made the choice to believe, truly saw it as the most logical of all world religions and genuinely believe in it.  I wonder if they made the choice with out any, or much, outside influence.  I know that not everyone is as interested in absorbing knowledge of world religion as I am, and I know it would be impossible to ask every single person on this earth who conforms to a religion to take the same path as me.  “To each his own.”

I didn’t grow up in a religious household; I never had religion shoved down my throat from any family members.  I experienced a different “wake up call” if you wish to call it that.  When I was 12 years old, I moved to Memphis, Tennessee.  While I was there, I went to a number of different schools, and most notably, a Christian school.  It was an experience; a horrible, interesting and life changing experience.  I saw people who were guilty of exactly what I’ve been going on about.  I was looked down on for not having “strong enough” faith.  I wasn’t like them and I didn’t want to be.  Imagine the effect that had on a kid who had been pondering Heaven and Hell since he was old enough to understand what they were.  Most of Memphis and it’s metropolitan area is haven for Christian Americans, it’s in the dead center of the grand ole’ “Bible Belt.”  

I realized one thing about my “crisis of faith” while I was there: If this is how “true” Christians acted, I wanted no part of it.  I would never want to make someone miserable over a thick book and a belief in a creator.  If being a Christian meant being like them, I just could never do it.  Interestingly enough, around the age of 12 and 13 I began to become very interested in politics.  I looked at the two political parties, the Democrats and the Republicans, and I saw the Republican Party was being “lead” by a man named George W Bush.  I could see right through this guy, he was just like my bible teacher! What a nightmare it would be to have this guy run our country.  That was my first turnoff towards Republicans.  To make matters worse, the whole school got involved in the election of 2000 (the Christian school), and guess who their candidate of choice was?  That’s right, Dubya himself.  It’s hilarious to me actually, Al Gore, whom at the time I looked at like a hero (and I still do), is a native Tennessean, and the folks of Tennessee DESPISED the man!  To make a long story short, the people of America and the world are finding out exactly what I thought of George W Bush originally.  (Note: I have a whole article coming up about my REAL thoughts on this man so I will not get into him much here).

To end speculation, I’m of the agnostic belief, meaning, I believe it is impossible to prove if there is or is not a God.  In reality, we can’t prove anything; it’s all a matter of faith.  Every time I have time to think of my faith, or lack of, my agnostic side becomes stronger.  I don’t feel so rejected and confused anymore.  The feeling is still there, but I’ve been able to make a little sense of it all.  The ironic thing is, I don’t believe all of this is supposed to make sense at all…